Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 30oC, hot, Sunny and slightly overcast.
It is the 8th of March, Women’s Day and my mother’s birthday. I had tried to call my mother early in the morning when Yasmin was with me before she went to school, but there was no answer.
I tried again in the early afternoon, but it was busy again, so I was only able to get through in the early evening. She was happy to hear my voice, and she told me that her next-door neighbours, a Romanian family, had given her flowers and that she had had lunch out with a friend.
Yasmin was also with me, so she could also wish her grandmother a happy birthday. My mother also voluntarily told me about the arrangements for her will. She told me where the will would be left and what had been decided concerning the house and her things.
I have got a brother, Russell. He’s three years younger than me, and we are like chalk and cheese. I will talk more about him in later posts, but now I would like to talk more about my mother.
My mother. Since I remember, has been an extremely difficult and opinionated person. My early memories of my mother are of her always having fights, arguments, etc., with everyone about anything. The neighbours, my father, my brother, one uncle of mine, my grandparents, and finally me.
I did not and would not take sides with her in arguments against my father; I was very young, so she decided to declare war on me.
I remember that from when my father left home to when I was kicked out of home at the age of 17. It was more or less eight years of my life that was hell. I was the worst thing or person on earth for her at that moment. For her, I was responsible for all the problems in the world, including hers.
At 17, she expelled me from her home, but that also is another story. What I would like to say is that whilst my mother was being a toxic person in relation to me, my brother was being protected and cared for by her.
My brother was diagnosed with a hyperactive nature when very young, and the complicated and turbulent separation and divorce of our parents was so complicated that it resulted in my brother having a nervous breakdown.
I think my mother had always tried to compensate for the failures of her marriage and life in general for my brother by trying to make everything right for him. As I was the second villain of the situation, my father was the first, as I have already stated, it was hell.
Nowadays. I have realised that it was not by chance that I went to London alone. I lived in the streets for some time and eventually moved to Brazil, far from the agro!
It’s interesting how life can take unexpected turns. For instance, my brother and I had very different experiences with our mother. While I struggled with her, my brother had an easier time. However, later in life, my brother distanced himself and his family from her due to issues with his wife.
Meanwhile, I moved to Brazil but continued to keep in touch and offer support to my mother, who is now in need. It’s ironic that I, who suffered so much because of her, am now the one who makes sure she is okay.
My brother, on the other hand, is extremely bitter towards her and our father (who has since passed away) and wants nothing to do with either of them. It’s a reminder that life can take unexpected turns, even when we least expect it.
Life often holds us accountable for our failures and hardships. It’s like a business ledger, where we have both assets and liabilities or positives and negatives. It’s a balance, a scale that weighs how well we manage the challenges and difficulties that come our way in life.
Although my mother is not a bad person, she can be extremely difficult to deal with. As a result, she has been estranged from her family for the past twenty years or so. Despite having four grandchildren, she has had very little, if any, interaction with them.
I believe that life is inherently unfair; however, the choices we make have consequences, and we must be willing to pay the price for those consequences.
In bed by 10:00 pm.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading my blog. Check out my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments.
Richard
