Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 24oC, warm and overcast.
It had rained during the night, so going to the park for an early morning workout was not the best idea. Instead, I went for a six- or seven-kilometre walk and had a coffee on the way home before the first class at 7:00 am.
I arrived at the bakery, sat down, and in a very short period of time, one of the girls appeared with a large black coffee, “um medio.” They know me and that I only order the same thing every day. I never order anything to eat in the morning, only black coffee. As I am polite and engage with them while usually leaving a tip, and without any ulterior motive, they are genuinely nice to me.
I have a trick in life for when I thank someone for doing something, such as in a shop, newsagents, or bakery. I always ask for their name when thanking them. While some people may become suspicious, using their name when thanking them grabs their attention and helps them remember you.
Sometimes people do not know the difference between being attentive, polite, and inconvenient. When you are sincerely being polite without another motive, people can feel it and it makes an impact. When a person is being polite or attentive with an ulterior motive in mind, people feel it even when they cannot put their finger on it; they just know.
When there is not an ulterior motive involved, and you are nice to people just for the sake of being nice and objective, it makes a big difference and calls attention to it.
One of the reasons I have had so many positive experiences in Brazil and around the world is because of this. Many people have remembered me even after years without contact because of the way I treated them in the past. I have had two surgeries in Brazilian state hospitals, and the experience of being in state hospitals in Brazil, with their limited resources, is unique in itself.
The people who work in these hospitals are accustomed to being treated poorly, without respect, by uneducated or simple people, and even criminals who often fail to appreciate their work. So, when someone shows appreciation with “please” and “thank you,” it can be quite surprising, especially in a deeply classist society like Brazil.
So, I was drinking my coffee in the bakery when my mobile phone rang with a number from São Paulo. Usually, when I receive a call from São Paulo, it could be my mother from England. I answered it, and indeed, it was her.
She spoke with a weak voice, speaking slowly. I asked if she was okay, and she said that the last fall she had taken, had taken a lot out of her. We talked about the documents her solicitor had sent to Brazil for me to sign, but I have not signed them yet. More importantly, I am unsure about which month I should go to England. I was thinking about November, the middle of the month, which is also cheaper.
When talking to my mother, I asked her if she preferred October or November. She replied, “Whichever month you think is best.” I am a little worried about my mother’s health. I will decide next week whether to go in October, November, or December. If she needs me, I should go earlier or as soon as possible.
She also told me that she was not completely alone because her neighbours were always nearby to help her, which lessened my worry a little. The conversation was light and friendly. It was not always like this in the past.
I am starting to realize that soon I will be going to England for the first time in almost twenty-plus years. Everything has changed so much in 22 years, almost a whole generation, without me visiting England.
How will everything be? How will I be? How will Wordsley, where my mother lives, be? How will the flight be? How will I adapt to the new reality during my stay in England? There are lots of thoughts, lots of plans, lots of things to do, think about, and appreciate.
In the evening, I worked on my websites, which are gradually improving.
In bed by 9:30 pm.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
