Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 25oC, warmish, and overcast.
Friday was a day of achievements, Saturday was for spring cleaning, and Sunday is Father’s Day!
I have two daughters, Jessica, who is 30, and Yasmin, who is 16. Unfortunately, I have never been very close to Jessica. I separated from Cibele when Jessica was two years old. I tried to be a present father, but it was not always easy. Due to the lack of stability in Brazil, it was difficult to have the kind of life and relationship with my daughter that I would have liked.
We have never been on holiday together, never a weekend, just both of us. Not even a lunch or dinner. When she was younger, we would have days together, but there wasn’t the intimacy or affection between us that I would have liked and was looking for.
Then, when Jessica was 15 or 16 years old, Mario appeared, and it was game over for me. All her love and attention went to Mario and his family.
For a while now, it has been apparent to me that she may have chosen to be closer to Mario’s family because his parents were still together, unlike hers. Perhaps she feels more connected to his family than her own. Sadly, his father passed away at the beginning of the pandemic. It’s possible she was looking for a father figure in him rather than in me, or perhaps she was embarrassed by the lack of a fatherly presence from me.
I sense that Cibele, Jessica’s mother, has noticed this connection with Mario’s family, and she may be feeling it more strongly than I. Despite this, the shift is still apparent. If this is what Jessica truly wants and makes her happy, what choice do I have? Just as with anyone else, she deserves to pursue her own happiness.
As her father, I want her to be happy, even though I experience some conflicting feelings and emotions. However, these conflicting feelings do not relate only to me but to my daughter and the situation. Only time will tell; perhaps it will never be entirely clear.
Jessica and Yasmin had arranged for everyone to meet for breakfast in Leme at a boutique bakery that we had visited many times before. When we arrived, the bakery was already full. Father’s Day, of course. Everybody had the same idea, but after 10 minutes, some people had paid and left, so we were able to get a good table for ourselves inside.
Jessica, Yasmin, Mario, and I had a pleasant time. The food was good, but the service was slow due to the busy Father’s Day. We had a great conversation, catching up on everything, as we only really see each other on special occasions nowadays.
After the meeting, I noticed that during our many conversations, we talked about music. I asked Jessica if she enjoyed any international music at the moment, and she answered that most of the music she enjoyed was Brazilian, with very little interest in international bands. Mario, on the other hand, was much more into international bands, rock and music.
And then it hit me!!!
My daughter is against or averse to foreign culture or influence, and that obviously includes me. I’m not sure if she developed this attitude because of me, her father, who is obviously a foreigner, our past, or if it’s just her nature, or maybe a bit of each. I remember in the past when she was at school, and there was an event, she would be embarrassed with me; she did not want me to appear or say so much.
During my 30-plus years in Brazil, I have encountered this nationalistic mentality many times. It’s the belief that everything in Brazil is good, while everything outside of Brazil is inferior or even considered trash. For sure, this mindset is essentially a form of prejudice. Brazil is a very special country, but it also has serious problems that should have been addressed and resolved a long time ago.
For me, it is clear that the only reason that they have not been addressed and resolved until now is that the politicians, the people in power, do not want to; they prefer the people to struggle and eat grass for the rest of their lives. Perhaps this is because Brazil is still relatively young, and its democracy and culture are still developing.
I’ve come to realise that my daughter may be a bit of a nationalist. I hadn’t noticed this about her before, but it became clear to me recently. I hope she’s happy with the path she’s chosen in life.
The overall conversation with Mario was very good. He’s a nice guy, and I enjoyed spending time with them. I also like that he has a good sense of humour and is always easy-going, which makes the situation more comfortable.
We had a pleasant breakfast, and I even received a pair of Bermuda shorts that I needed and was grateful for. Everything went well, we spent about two hours together. Jessica paid the bill, which I also thanked her for, and we said our goodbyes before leaving.
The day was a little overcast and stormy, with wind and rain. When we arrived back in Botafogo, I asked Nalva to buy a bottle of wine for us. We drank and ate later in the day, and I was already thinking about the things that I would need to do this week.
A very pleasant and wonderful weekend in every possible way.
In bed by 10:00 pm.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
