Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 29oC, hot, sunny, clear sky.
It’s Friday, and I’m feeling exhausted. I can’t wait for the last class to end so I can finally be free to do nothing.
My final class is at 3:00 pm with Eduardo. He is the son of Fabio, a former student and friend of mine. Fabio has been having classes with me on and off for the past ten years since I had my school in Copacabana.
Six years ago, Fabio was laid off from his job as an IT project manager in Rio. After a year, he found a better job in Sao Paulo. I always believe that when something bad happens, something good will happen later, and sometimes vice versa – something good happens and then something bad.
He relocated with his family to São Paulo, and they have been living there for five or six years. They don’t want to come back to Rio. I have lived in São Paulo twice, and on both occasions, I didn’t want to return to Rio. I only returned because of Jessica – I wanted to be near her while she was growing up.
Even though São Paulo is about 100 kilometres from the coast, it is a much more diverse and affluent city than Rio, with a population of more than 13 million. It boasts the best nightlife and gastronomy in Brazil.
Pelé once said that the best pizza he ever ate was from São Paulo, not Italy. São Paulo has a vast multicultural population, with the largest Japanese colony outside Japan and a deeply ingrained Italian colony descending from over 400 years. In many ways, living in São Paulo is quite spectacular.
I have been teaching classes for Dudu for about two years. He’s 15 now, and besides being his English teacher, he considers me his friend. I also consider him as my friend. He’s a very good boy, and I can see that he is quickly turning into a young man.
His parents are extremely dedicated to him and his education, which is visible in his disciplined, responsible, and focused nature. I’m very impressed by him. He’s a bit inexperienced and raw, but that’s normal for his age. Obviously, as he grows older and faces the challenges that life brings, he will grow and mature.
When I have a class with him on Fridays, which is usually my last class, I’m drained. I’m so exhausted that I end up shortening the class to just half an hour of conversation. I can’t decide which is worse: mental or physical exhaustion. All I know is that both are very bad.
On Wednesday, I received my credit card. On Thursday, I received my International Wise debit card for travelling abroad. Today, I opened a bank account for Yasmin so that she could get her own debit card and start her financial life. Although it was relatively easy to do and good for Yasmin, all she did was complain, saying that it could be done later or another day.
It’s becoming clear that Yasmin will be a bit of a problematic teenager. She always answers back, has an opinion, and is even slightly disrespectful. Everything seems to bring a problem, and she doesn’t seem to value her education.
I get the impression that Yasmin is not happy with herself, and as a result, she spills her frustration and unhappiness onto everybody else. I’ve tried to talk to her many times with normal, civil conversation, and everything seems okay, but the end result remains the same. I always thought that when Nalva and I separated, Nalva would do everything to please and gain Yasmin’s support in case of a custody battle.
I have always paid their rent without question. However, Nalva has always been living above her means. She would use Yasmin as a bargaining chip, essentially using her to guarantee a place to live in the South zone of Rio.
And now we’re paying the price for this. Yasmin is entitled, rude, and a little spoilt. As I said, I have tried talking to her and have had many good conversations without arguing or fighting, but it always continues without any change or improvement.
Life is hard, and if we are unprepared or prepared in the wrong way for what life throws at us, we will experience unnecessary suffering.
Yasmin has been seeing a psychologist since she was six and is now 16, which adds up to ten years of therapy. Initially, I felt it was beneficial, but now I’m not as sure. I understand that being an adolescent is challenging and that we have to take the good with the bad, but it’s tough for everyone around her.
All I want as a father is for her to not lose her way in life and to be a good person – a good human being, kind to others, happy, and fulfilled. She is not a bad person; she’s just a little confused. When people are confused, they sometimes make mistakes that can lead them off their path.
Life is tough, and there are things we can teach our children, but there are also things they can only learn on their own. As a father, if I can teach my daughters what I know, they should be more prepared for what life teaches them. However, because of this, we always suffer.
In bed by 11:00 pm.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
