Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 25oC, warm, sunny and slightly overcast.
It is Wednesday, and although the heat has cooled down a bit, we are still experiencing a heat wave.
I woke up early to have a coffee and write in my journal. It’s very therapeutic to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper and express my future intentions. I’m beginning to notice and appreciate how my life has changed in such a short time just by making small changes.
The changes have begun. You are different. People see the difference, but you are the last to notice. I’m feeling this. I also feel that because of my change, the people, friends, family, etc., either have problems with my change or I have problems with them. Or what they represented for you in your old life is not what they represent today.
Things that were once considered acceptable are no longer so. There are situations that you used to pretend were okay and would accept, but you can’t anymore because they are just not aligned with who you are. There is less patience or tolerance for accepting something wrong than there was before. What was acceptable in the past is no longer acceptable. It goes against the grain.
A door has opened into a beautiful garden. Everything in it is beautiful. It is a beautiful day with the sun shining and not a cloud in the sky. The birds are singing, the lawn is perfectly cut, and all the flowers bloom in vivid colours. You don’t want to go back inside the house to the dark, grey place with dingy windows and curtains that stop sunlight from entering.
This is what I no longer want. I’m tired of what I’ve had. I never really liked it. Sometimes, there were sudden bursts of happiness when someone cleaned the windows, and I could see the garden and its beauty, and the light came in. Soon after, the windows would get dirty again, and I couldn’t see outside. I’m sad. I’m just living the same old routine, unhappy with myself. I feel like I can’t do anything about it. But I can. It’s so obvious; it’s staring me in the face.
This metaphor reflects how I see what has happened to me. Before exercising and studying, my life felt empty and lacking purpose. I thought I had meaning, but it was a lie. I was living a lie. When I questioned what was wrong, although I didn’t know exactly what to do, I realised that I needed to take proactive steps for myself.
The minimum I wasn’t doing before was winning. It’s a no-lose situation. Even though we don’t initially see or feel that well-being, it is there. When we eventually feel it, it is bigger than us. Only a loser would stop and try to kill it, put it down, or control it. It is too big to kill; we can only feed, nurture, and tame it to become the person we should have been long ago.
Effort – Actions – Confidence!
It really isn’t rocket science. It’s just a question of happiness. If you’re unhappy, try doing the opposite of what you’ve been doing. If you’ve been staying at home, go out. If you haven’t been studying, start studying. If you’re not exercising, start doing some exercise. If you haven’t been socialising, go out and meet people. If you haven’t been travelling and exploring new places, try it.
The more effort you put in and your actions, the more confidence you’ll gain. With confidence, we can change ourselves, our lives, and even the world. It just depends on us.
More and more, I am taking Perola with me to the park. I think she enjoys it as much as I enjoy taking her. I don’t know who is better for whom – either I’m doing good for her, or she is doing a lot of good for me. I think I’m receiving so much good back from her. I wanted to help her, but really, she’s helping me much more.
Nalva cooked yakisoba at night, and it was excellent. Much appreciated.
In bed by 10.00 pm.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
