Rio de Janeiro: 28 degrees, hot and very sunny.
Is it worth it? Is it worth having children? What terrible questions! Of course, it is worth it! That should be the answer. But sometimes, I have doubts.
Am I paying for what I have planted, or is it worth it? My relationship with my elder daughter is polite and cordial but lacks intimacy or affection, making it very cold. I believe that the circumstances surrounding our separation, and how a member of her mother’s family, particularly one sister, tried to prevent me from seeing my daughter, have adversely affected our overall relationship.
I am also sure that part of the issue stems from my past traumas with my mother, which may have hindered my ability to manage the situation well. As I have mentioned, my relationship has devolved into something politically correct: we see each other on bank holidays, birthdays, etc., and exchange messages only once or twice a month and everything is always fine, with no details or desire to share something more. I have learned to accept this; whether it will improve or not in the future, only time will tell. I wish her the utmost best in her life and hope she always gets what she wants and strives for.
Over the last five months, I have discovered a troubling side to my second daughter that is deeply hurting and disappointing me. I feel as though she is malicious, deceitful, and spiteful, driven solely by self-interest. She always has an answer or, more disappointingly, an excuse for everything. When angry, she says terrible things that, as a daughter speaking to her parents, should never be uttered.
I have always tried to be correct, fair, and sometimes strict with her education, as I think there are issues that can be negotiated and others that cannot. For example, arriving home from a party can be negotiated, but drugs of any kind can never be compromised.
I believe these things are important, and I thought at least the right values were being instilled in my daughter. However, when I see the opposite occurring, I question where I went wrong. What have I done, or what have I been doing wrong all this time? And do I deserve this? Because I believe I do not.
Consider the sacrifices made by myself, her mother, and other parents when raising children. Just because they are our blood, we should love them accordingly. We must bend over backwards to do everything for them so that nothing goes amiss.
Due to this imbalance and a kind of excuse and emotional blackmail, they believe they have the right to treat us as if we are nothing. It is as if they know they have a hold on us, both emotionally and fundamentally, and this hold permits them to act however they wish about us, their parents. In some ways, in how they lead their lives, we, their parents, will always be there, they can do as they please, no matter what!
This new generation has also seemed to be getting worse rather than better over the last twenty years, which is the opposite of the natural evolution of life itself. As a parent, I expect my children to be better than me. I don’t have a problem with that, it is the natural evolution of the species. But now, with the issues of transgender, woke, radical feminism, etc., nothing is clear anymore, especially what is right or wrong.
I also feel that this is the realm of the new generation, who believe life owes them something; they think they shouldn’t have to work or study as much. Even the notion of sacrificing their time and energy is utterly unacceptable. All wisdom, rewards, etc, should come easily and swiftly, with minimal investment from themselves.
While this might sound radical, I’ve witnessed numerous instances where well-prepared young individuals face issues if they are not promoted or placed in higher positions within their companies within a short timeframe or within the span they expect.
It raises concerns about themselves or the company itself. This may lead to depression or compel them to leave for another company to ascend the corporate ladder as quickly as possible because they deserve it. People of my generation, or even those of slightly younger generations, understand that only through hard work, persistence, professionalism, a little luck and patience can one grow and progress within a company over time.
It doesn’t happen overnight. Nowadays, something is drastically wrong if young individuals aren’t at the top quickly. It may seem outrageous to express these thoughts, but this is the reality we are currently facing.
All I know is that tonight, my daughter subtly demonstrated her ability to act maliciously, especially towards her father, and I am at a loss for what to do. I feel profoundly disappointed and uncertain about how to handle this situation. I can only hope that her behaviour is typical of adolescence and can be viewed as an excuse for her actions.
I have walked a great deal with Perola today, which is always pleasant and helps a lot.
In bed by midnight.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
