Wordsley, Stourbridge, England: 13 degrees, chilly, wet, rainy and damp.
What a crazy morning running back and forth from the building society for my mother.
My mother had a knee replacement operation at the beginning of January, and until now she’s not unable to go out or drive. I can’t drive in England, or at least shouldn’t; it is something I may need to do before returning to Brazil or when I do.
Every Tuesday or Thursday, my mother receives her pension into one account, withdraws it from one building society, and then deposits it into another account at a different building society right next door. Both building societies are located next to each other on the same street in a neighbouring village where my mother lives.
To withdraw money from my mother’s account, which receives her pension, we need to fill out a form authorising that I, or someone else, can withdraw the money from the account, other than my mother, the account holder. Both my mother and I thought that we had had a form here at home, but we didn’t. Therefore, I had to go out, catch a bus and bring back a form for my mother to fill in.
This was the first time!
Then I went back to the building society to withdraw her money; everything was in order, but I had forgotten her savings book, which was required to accompany the form. Until today, some building societies still use a small book to deposit and withdraw money at the counter with the clerk.
This was the second time!
When I realised I had forgotten the book, I swore in Portuguese in front of the clerk, who did not understand what I was saying out of frustration for not noticing I had left it at home on the kitchen counter. Amid all the confusion, I had to go back and get it. I arrived home, grabbed the book, and set out again into the cold, windy, rainy day.
This was the third and final attempt!
I caught the bus again, and in 20 minutes, I was there in front of the same bank clerk with everything right to withdraw my mother’s pension for the third time. I left one building society, and literally with two steps, I was inside the other building society next door. There, it is more automated, thank God! However, it remains very bureaucratic and less efficient than in Brazil. Nevertheless, I could use the ATM to deposit my mother’s money, ensuring that all her bills would be paid on time.
What disappointed me was forgetting her book and having to go back in the rain. It’s not that the cold or rain would stop me, but it’s as if when there is stress, confusion, and everything feels a bit messy and more complicated than necessary, I am more prone to making mistakes and forgetting things.
Living with my mother is not very easy; to have two separate building society accounts, one for receiving money and the other for paying bills, which I find completely ridiculous. Going physically to collect money and then transferring it elsewhere in 2025 makes little sense. I am not sure whether my mother consciously or unconsciously needs and wants to do this, perhaps to get out of the house and meet people, or if she simply enjoys complicating her life.
Not forgetting that the first building society where my mother receives her money, ‘The West Bromwich building society’, is extremely, but extremely bureaucratic, archaic and out of date in its ways.
What also caught my attention was my need for simplicity and the importance of simplifying our lives in general!!!
My mother has a lot of small things scattered throughout the house. There are porcelain dolls in every room, which I don’t understand why she has them. Little toys from my brother’s and my childhood, some of which are even broken, but they are still there. There are lots and lots of little trinkets, souvenirs, and ornaments everywhere, literally everywhere. And no matter how careful you are, you will always end up knocking something over, which I hate.
I hate it when something drops on the floor. It is a mania of mine, almost as if when you accidentally drop something, it indicates you are clumsy, disorganised, or even stupid! My pupils at the school used to know about this and would sometimes tease and provoke me, pretending to drop something on the floor.
When I lived in Copacabana, I had my things, my clobber, but never clutter or the flat in a mess. If it was broken or I hadn’t used it much, then it would have to go. My flat was clean, neat, and organised, which supposedly reflects how our minds are.
If there is a lot of clutter and your house or home is disorganised, then your mind is not very healthy and clear. Conversely, if your home is clean and organised, it indicates that your mind is also organised and focused.
When I moved in with Nalva, it was a shock; she is a hoarder, collecting things—especially for emergencies or potential future situations—and would want those individual items if needed in an eventual future situation. During the first two weeks I was with Yasmin and Nalva, we undertook a massive reorganisation, cleaning, and tidying of everything, with the primary goal of throwing away as much unnecessary stuff as possible. It was a success, though not as much as I would have liked. Considering Nalva’s resistance to this, it was still good.
The flat was cleaner, tidier, and had less stuff in it; it brings a sense of clarity, freedom, and well-being. As a result, our lives tend to improve, grow, and move forward.
Back to the building society saga of this morning: I am also proud of myself for being determined to get it done, no matter what. It took me three trips, six bus rides, and a lot of rain and stress, but it was done – it wasn’t left for another day. My mother had suggested that I do it on Friday, but I said no and that I wanted it done and out of the way today.
It is good to feel good about completing something, even something so simple!
Before the stress involving my mother’s money and the building societies, I had started using the elastic bands and skipping rope I bought the previous weekend. I went outside into the back garden and used the skipping rope; I skipped for about 30 minutes and then used the elastic bands for more than 20 minutes.
I felt warm inside, cold outside, but the feeling of happiness was hard to explain – it is incredible, almost addictive.
Exercising in the cold is amazing!
In the evening, I had dinner with my mother, worked until 10:00 p.m. and was in bed by 11.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
