Wordsley, Stourbridge, England: 10 degrees, grey, damp, cold and shitty.
Today has been a mixed day. It has been good because work has gone well. I have a new pupil, everyone is paying me on time, and my crypto investment is soaring.
I can’t say the same for my Tesla shares; they are 30% down since I bought them. I have been tempted to sell them, but I’m going to hold on to them. What I need to do is forget about them and see how they perform in 3, 5, or even 10 years.
So, work and financial investments are all going well; what is troubling me is my heart. What also adds fuel to the fire is that I didn’t sleep well last night. I woke up at about 1:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep until 4:00 a.m. I only slept 3 1/2 hours last night, and I know myself well enough to realise that if I don’t get at least 5 or 6 hours of sleep,
I become a bag of rocks: slow, heavy, irritable, and negative, and this is exactly how I have felt today.
I had a very intense exercise session in the morning, and I’m unsure whether it was beneficial or harmful. Varying the exercises helps prevent boredom, but it also reveals which exercises are more or less effective for me. I felt that this morning’s session was a step up from my usual routine.
It may have worsened my mood, as not being able to recharge properly the night before, combined with a tough workout instead of my regular exercise, resulted in feeling like a bag of rocks for the rest of the day.
What made it worse was that the new potential pupil had not confirmed the first class and had not replied to my early morning e-mail asking for confirmation. I spent the whole day waiting for some confirmation that only arrived two minutes before the scheduled time.
I thought the class was not going to happen, which would have caused a financial loss. Fortunately, it did occur; we had a class, and he liked it. He seemed to be a nice person. So, it was resolved, I earned more money, and the issue was settled.
It’s the heart, and I know I’m repeating myself. I haven’t come to England seeking a romantic relationship; I’m primarily here to resolve family issues, manage my finances, and take a break from Brazil for a while. Now this spanner has been thrown into the works, and I don’t know what to do.
She’s currently going through a divorce, and she was the one who initiated it. Like 90% of men with their pride wounded, they do everything humanly possible to inflict pain and hurt on their ex-wife, and in some cases, the ex-punching bag.
I don’t want to get involved, but in some ways, I already am. I’m not trying to pry, but she has looked for support from me, and I don’t mind. I will never deny her or use it against her. What I am afraid of is investing so much, literally my heart and soul and at the end getting hurt once more. Am I being soft, weak, selfish, or is it just my self-defence after so many trials, tribulations and disappointments?
Time again will show the way, time resolves almost everything, so it is just my anxiety, so I need to control it and know that if it is to be, it will be like everything for everyone and anyone!
I gave classes until almost 11:00 p.m., and I was in bed 10 minutes after. I hope I sleep well tonight.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
