Wordsley, Stourbridge, England: 13 degrees, chilly, grey, dark and rain is promised.
I’m not sure if I wrote this yesterday so that I might be repeating myself a bit, but it’s interesting how we often relax and don’t expect things to happen, yet when we plan and push the situation, it doesn’t always turn out as we want or expect.
When I went out with Julie last Saturday, it was a bit of a disaster for me. She said she had enjoyed the night, and I too, but what I had done wrong was putting a lot of energy and expectation into our first kiss. We had talked about it, directly and indirectly, before our first official meeting on Saturday.
I had decided that when she arrived to pick me up, I would ask her to get out of the car, and we would kiss. We did it, but it was not the kiss I was expecting; she was not 100% into us and ready. We discussed it during the week; I told her that I know when a woman is not giving her all, a kiss can tell you a lot, just like a hug.
During the last couple of days after our first date, we continued to talk, even more than before. Then, without any warning or notice, she asked if we could meet later to talk. For her to pick me up and we go somewhere to talk, of course, I accepted; I wanted to see her. At about 7:00, she came, and we went to the car park hidden behind the village library on the green. It was cold and raining outside, but inside the car, it was warm.
As soon as she had parked the car and the engine was off, she automatically stretched her upper body over to my side of the car, offering her lips for a kiss, and wow, this was the kiss I wanted to give her and for us to have last Saturday.
I was not 100% sure that I was kissing the same woman, so I insisted, and we kissed again, and yes, it was the kiss that I wanted us to have, and it was with the right woman, my beautiful little perfect woman. It was her in front of me, and it was the kiss that you don’t forget. They impact your life in such a way that no matter what happens in the future, they will always be etched inside of you for a very long time.
We continued to kiss, talk, chill out in the car in the middle of an empty car park that just had us two there, and it was sublime.
All the doubts of the last date were kissed away into oblivion, only leaving a path of fuzziness and good feelings. We stayed together for an hour and then she took me home. We said our goodbyes, understanding that we would only speak the next day, but it was impossible. We spoke in bed, in the morning before work, and we probably will speak later.
So, what have I learned, or, I think I have learned?
Everything has its proper time, and if it isn’t right, it’s because it wasn’t the right time. We have to invest in what we want and what is good for us, but when we push or force too much, it becomes too much.
We have to have the sensitivity and the sensibility not to be blinded by our own wishes, to know how to walk along the fine line between desire and selfishness. Anything that is forced usually does not turn out to be good, and that includes a first kiss.
That first kiss can be like a new project, an important sale, or a contract. When we push too hard, to the point of becoming overbearing, we risk paying a heavy price that sometimes cannot be recovered.
And when we don’t interfere and allow the natural flow of life and the universe to take its course, the results tend to be much better, more natural, and usually fit into place better than what we had expected. Everything seemed clearer and more positive than it had before, and for my life, for a long time.
Am I putting too much into this?
It’s possible, but I haven’t felt like this in a long time. Between the first and second meetings, we discussed family, personal experiences, and our own failures. Naturally and voluntarily, we both have started to open up to each other, which led to the outcome I had hoped for. Today, I’m happy, and I hope we can both build on this.
On the negative side, my mother is growing increasingly impatient with my new friend. Just going out for a talk with my little, beautiful, perfect woman caused a lot of stress when I got back. My mother is jealous of me having a flirt, a good time and being happy, and since she is not very emotionally intelligent, she is beginning to show her claws.
Why wouldn’t a mother want her son to have a good time and be happy? I will need a lot of patience and have to be very flexible to avoid creating big waves in what was once a peaceful sea.
In bed by 11:00 p.m.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
