Wordsley, Stourbridge, England: 5 degrees, bitterly cold, with unsettled weather.
So, after the devastation caused by Hurricane Richard yesterday, the aftermath was marked by an eerie calm, insecurity, and shame.
What happened yesterday, what I did, and what mistake I committed that could seriously damage my life and happiness.
I got up, made my bed, and there was no Julie. I went to the bathroom, washed, and still no Julie. I went downstairs, did some exercise, and Julie wasn’t there. I opened my laptop, prepared a blog post, and no Julie. I started giving classes, and still no Julie. I went out for a walk; I tried to do some shopping therapy at Lidl supermarket — which is Christmas for me every time I walk through its doors — and Julie was not there. I then went to the simple café, and she was not there either. I was inside my mind, looking for her everywhere, and I went into panic mode; I had lost one of the most important people in my life at this moment.
I went home because I had to work, had classes to teach, and Julie was not there. Then suddenly, in the middle of the afternoon, the sun started to shine, and there was hope.
Julie sent me a message saying she wanted to talk to me. I hurt her yesterday, and today she is seeking me out. Am I selfish enough not to appreciate this, to see the true worth of this woman? I had a break between classes; she called me, and we spoke attentively for a couple of minutes, with a tone of cordiality but genuine affection between the words.
I had to leave because I still had a few classes to teach. I seized the chance to ask if the fish and chips were still on for later that evening, and after some good-hearted banter, a bit of teasing, and a touch of irony, it was confirmed that they were up for it.
It’s amusing how life can change direction in a second, a minute, or an hour. After speaking to Julie, I felt partly, slightly redeemed, and it is funny how life delivers lessons and messages when you allow it.
Fabio, my pupil and friend, we have known each other for at least 12 years. The last time he was in Rio, we had lunch together in Copacabana. For some reason, our class conversation shifted to Brazil, then England, and the possibility of me staying in England, as Brazil is a mess at the moment. It suddenly became clear what I will need to do in the immediate future. Everything suddenly started to fall into place — Julie, my mother, and my life now.
I will need to find a place to live, probably a bachelor flat, either in Wordsley or Kingswinford, so that it is close to my mother and Julie. I have coincidentally registered myself at the local health post in Kingswinford, very near where Julie lives, so everything indicates that my life will be here. I can work, give classes, develop my YouTube channel, and do anything else to earn money.
Julie can visit or stay with me whenever she likes. If I returned to Brazil now, with all the political and economic chaos, it would be either difficult or a waste of time, not to mention the concern about violence in Rio, living with Nalva at first, which is not ideal and somewhat uncomfortable, to say the least.
Yasmin can visit in July before returning to study. She and Nalva live in the South zone of Rio, which is convenient in a small but fairly comfortable flat for two. In the future, I will help her buy her own place, which will eventually become Yasmin’s.
Talking to Fabio was very helpful; it cleared up many doubts and paved the way for the future.
After the class, I spent a lot of time thinking about all the possibilities and sent an audio message to Nalva asking for her opinion. She quickly replied with several supportive messages, telling me I should go for it and seize this opportunity.
She also acknowledged that my mother is an extremely difficult person and that living alone would be beneficial for me. It was comforting to hear such positive words from my ex-wife; it was very encouraging and helpful. Now I know what I need to do. All I have to do tonight is try to make amends with Julie and ensure my already planned plan works: rent a flat and earn more money.
Julie picked me up a little after 7. The plan was to go to Swindon, a small country village about 5 to 10 minutes from where I live, and supposedly, the fish and chip shop there is very good, one of the best in the region. It is cold and rainy, and Julie looks beautiful in black leggings, a pink or purple blouse, and a jean jacket.
On the way to Swindon in the countryside, we talked and gradually began to mend and close what had burst open yesterday. The local chip shop is on the Main Street in Swindon. Swindon itself is a small village with a few shops, including the chippy and two very well-known pubs.
As there was nowhere to park outside the chip shop, I suggested we park at the ‘Green Man’ pub car park, 100 metres from the chip shop. Since we were using the pub’s car park, I thought it would be better to go in, have a quick drink, and then buy our chips.
We ordered a half-pint of lager with a splash of lime cordial, similar to the Desperado long necks we were drinking on Saturday night that Julie liked so much. We found a place to sit, kept ourselves to ourselves, and within 10 minutes we were chatting to other people in the small lounge room.
One man was setting up his darts as it was a darts night and there was a league match; he represents a pub near where we live. He began explaining about the match tournaments, the darts league, etc., and two other guys at the far end of the room joined in the conversation, so we were now talking and communicating with the natives from the area.
One of the two men had a very strong Black Country accent, while the other, clearly a farmer, spoke with a lighter accent, but both were very curious about my accent and my broken English from being in Brazil for so long. All of us enjoyed the conversation so much that we ordered another drink, and the time passed quickly. I told Julie that we would have to go because the chip shop might be closing, and when we left the pub and walked there in the cold and rain, it had already shut.
How crazy is that?
We quickly headed back to the car to go to the local chippy in Wordsley. It was 9:10, and according to Google, it would close at 9:30. We hurried through the rain and cold, arriving in front of the chip shop at exactly 9:20. Julie drove very well. I left Julie in the car and went to buy two small fish and chips.
It took some time because they were closing and, at the last minute, had to cook two fresh fish, which were really very good for us. Julie said that we would go to the car park near the café where she works, where it is and has been, for our intimate and close moments; each one more intimate than the last.
She parked the car outside. It was cold and rainy, but inside it was warm with the smell of fish and chips in the air. We ate our food; surprisingly, it was very good. It is not the most sophisticated of meals, but when it is cooked well, they are very good.
After the fish and chips, we indulged in some sweets from the heart-shaped sweet jar we bought in Worcester the Saturday before. That was our dessert. We started kissing and exploring things we had never done before; we went quite far, almost reaching the point of more, but decided it wasn’t the right moment, if such a thing even exists. Nothing was forced; we both wanted it and consented, and it became a truly sublime moment.
It had been a long time since I experienced such intense preliminary pleasure. We didn’t want to leave; if we could, we would have stayed together all night, without complaints or reservations. We couldn’t stop touching and holding each other.
Eventually, it was time to go.
We reluctantly put our clothes right, and Julie dropped me off. Besides being a very pleasant and enjoyable night, it was one of spiritual, emotional and physical connection.
We both loved what had happened!
After Julie had dropped me off, my mother was in the driveway in the cold and rain, looking for her keys, which she had dropped on her return. I found them, I think she was a little embarrassed I made her a tea, and I went to bed.
In bed by 1:00 a.m.
Thank you.
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Richard
