Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: 29 degrees, hot, Sunny and beautiful blue skies; a beautiful day.
It is Saturday and the declaration day!
I am up and in the street by 8:00 a.m., doing a heavy workout of walking, skipping, TRX straps, and elastic bands, a good two hours of exercise with tiny pauses between each module. Now I am used to lighting two or three incense sticks and sticking them in the ground near where I’m working out.
I started this habit when I was in England, practising in my mother’s back garden, so if I did it there, why not here too! Until now, nobody has come to ask, complain or inquire why I have got lit incense sticks in the ground.
When I got home, Yasmin was already up and having breakfast. I made some coffee, the traditional Brazilian way, with boiling water and using a funnel on top of the coffee flask, pouring the hot water onto the ground coffee and filter. It remains one of the most traditional and popular methods to prepare good coffee in Brazil today, and also the most affordable.
I filmed it with a brief narration for Julie and Jim and sent them the short, informative, and silly video. Julie told me that Jim loved it and thought it was quite funny.
After coffee and the computer stuff was done, I asked Yasmin to come and help me sort out and tidy our desk area. A lot of books and clutter are gone, along with a lot of my stuff that I had not done anything with. We still need to organise and sort out some other stuff to see what needs to be thrown away, but it was a good morning.
I threw away my old study books, documents, and anything I thought I no longer needed. Yasmin also sorted out her belongings, and it was nice to do something proactive with my daughter. It took us about two hours to arrange the desk the way I wanted it, with much less on the table. Now there’s more space to work, I think, with other, less important items underneath.
After doing this and taking a short break, I suggested we go out for lunch at the same per-kilo restaurant we visited on Yasmin’s birthday, my first day back in Rio from England. Yasmin thought it was a good idea, so we got changed and walked to Pride Botafogo Shopping Centre.
It was funny how we talked more while walking down the street together than when we were at home, and we have free time to say whatever we want when we’re doing nothing. Walking together in the street is the best excuse to talk about more serious or more profound matters.
The shopping centre was completely full, bustling with people on a Saturday; for me, it is hell. We went up to the top floor, where the food court is, and enjoyed a beautiful view of the bay. We chose our food and found a nice table in the food court to sit and eat. We were chatting normally, and then, for some reason, I suddenly asked Yasmin.
“Are you gay”?
She replied, asking me why I had asked her this, which clearly indicates she is hiding something. I asked her to answer my question, and she promptly replied, “Yes, I think I am.”
I had suspected for quite some time, but had never pressed her for confirmation. I did not feel anything, maybe because I was a little numb, but it was as if I had always really known, so there was no real surprise, nothing new, and no shock.
We discussed it extensively. I inquired about her mother and whether she knew, and she said she wanted to tell me first and would inform her mother at the end of July for some reason. We talked about her mother being extremely conservative and religious, and so it may be difficult for her mother to understand and accept, so maybe some patience will be needed.
As for me, I am a little disappointed, but I will support her in anything that does not break the law.
As an older heterosexual man, part of a dinosaur generation, even though we accept new customs that were not acceptable in the past, it is still difficult to fully grasp how much the world has changed from then. I’m mainly talking about principles, about what is right and wrong, rather than about sexuality.
In England, I noticed that homosexuality is now quite normal, nothing special to rave about, just as it still is here in Brazil. This is probably because Brazil’s population is deeply religious, historically rooted in the Catholic Church, and more recently, evangelism or Protestantism has gained popularity over the past couple of decades.
Religion frequently promotes conservatism and can hinder progress compared to other parts of the world. It seeks to uphold long-standing traditional principles that remain valid. No matter how much the world advances, if the fundamental principles are eroded, nothing can endure or improve, and society may essentially collapse.
Therefore, in some respects, it is vital to preserve sound old principles because without them, nothing can sustain itself.
As a father, I’m not here to judge, but to ultimately offer support. In some ways, I don’t know what is truly right or wrong, only that I want my daughter to feel secure and happy with her choices, including her sexuality, which should not offend anyone else these days.
On the way home, we discussed the breaking news further. I promised not to tell her mother, as I believe it should come from her. She agreed and thanked me for my support.
We bought some açai from the ice cream parlour next door to the building and took it home. I had purchased a bottle of wine earlier, so when Nalva arrived home from work, relatively late and tired, I opened it, and we drank a couple of glasses.
It has been a day of revelation that, in some ways, was not such a shock, as I had said I had suspected unconsciously for quite some time, and now it is out in the open. I wish my youngest daughter all the happiness she deserves because the world is complicated, and being gay in it is even harder, especially in Brazil.
In bed by midnight.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
Photos by Richard George Photography
