Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: 30 degrees, hot, sunny, and with beautiful blue skies.
It is the beginning of a new working week, and I am starting a blog revision.
I am not happy with the general layout of each post, so I’m updating each one, and everyone is also to iron out any mistakes that have been overlooked.
I think my first blog post was in August last year, and now I have 213 posts in less than a year, which is not bad. What really stands out like a sore thumb is the difference between the first posts and today’s in terms of quality and presentation.
The natural progression in writing, layout, and appearance has improved significantly over the months. It is very clear, when revising them, that it comes down to understanding that ‘practice makes perfect’. It is impossible to expect perfection on your first attempts at anything. Still, after 1000 or 2000 times doing more or less the same thing, or the same process, you quickly approach and get very close to perfection itself.
Revising every post could be a little repetitive and boring, but for me, it is pretty gratifying to know that, when you finish, whatever you are improving will be better than before. I also have a specific discipline for revising documents, as when I used to write the didactic English books for the school, I would have to revise them every so often to bring them up to date and remove any mistakes and flaws that are always there.
It is repetitive work, and it tests discipline to keep going until it is all finished. Sometimes, when you think you are finishing, you suddenly realise that you will have to do everything again, or that you have just opened another box of confusion. They will take your work even further, but they will also resolve what needs to be done.
And you can choose to ignore it and continue as you were, or go down that rabbit hole to really make a change in what you do. I have always chosen the second option, even though it takes longer than expected. In theory, it resolves everything in the end, and you know that you did your best, you went that extra mile to improve what you’re doing, you didn’t give up, and you didn’t ignore what should not be overlooked.
It is a choice between the difficult way and the easy way. Many people choose the easy way because it’s easier. Still, the rewards are usually less or superficial. The difficult way usually has a much greater or deeper reward, and because of the difficulties, it changes us and affects us. Hence, the journey is essential, but it also affects us and transforms us, often for the better.
I don’t know how long this blog revision will take. There is a lot of work, but I have set a deadline of 1 July, the end of this month, by which I would like it all to be complete.
I have not spoken to Julie by message since Thursday of last week. I have missed talking to her a lot. Many different things have gone through my mind in such a situation; all I know is that I will not send or call her.
It is not a question of pride; it is just that, at the moment, I think it is better for me and maybe for her. The last time we talked, she sent me a very sarcastic message because I couldn’t speak to her then. Because of that, I thought the messages were unnecessary, disrespectful, and, in a way, just one more red flag being waved in my face.
The truth is, I have seen some red flags since the first night, and I have been trying to ignore them, but now that I am in Brazil, I have space to think more clearly. When I was in England, it was beginning to feel suffocating, with the toxicity of my mother and the uncertainty I felt about Julie.
Am I so lonely that I need female company no matter what, even when I know deep down that the person is not really the right one for me?
Tomorrow, I will have to prepare my complaint, at my request, for compensation from KLM Airlines for flight cancellation and for paying twice for extra dispatched luggage.
In bed by 11p.m.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
