Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: 23 degrees, warm, sunny and slightly overcast.
It is Tuesday, the beginning of the second half of the year.
I always think the second half is usually better than the first. The first half was good for me, so in theory, the second half has to be better, at least as good if not better.
What I planted in the first half and before has to come to fruition in the second half. This includes health, quality of life, and, of course, money. For a large part of my life, I have forgotten myself because of others and responsibilities. Now I need to think more about myself and what is good for me.
We sometimes, or many times, invest in relationships or friendships, innocently wanting to help others or be nice to them, only to find out later that, despite all your good intentions, people just want to shoot you down. As if you are valid only until you are no longer useful in their lives.
And once you have stuck up for yourselfand owned the situation or the toxicity of the people, you find another side to them that had been covered all this time, until you are no longer useful.
What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been deceived recently and have discovered another side of people I hadn’t seen before. Only when I took a stand, defending myself and my peace, did I find another side of people that had been waiting, almost stalking for the right situation to act.
The second half of this year has shown me that I need to free myself from toxic people who want to take away my peace in the name of their own self-absorbed, obsessive loneliness, needing to suck the life out of others for their own interests.
Nowadays, it is very difficult to find genuine friendship, where a person approaches you for one unique reason; to be a friend, in its true meaning, not for financial interest or status, or to climb the social ladder, but perhaps because you have something in common, share the same point of view, are at the same level, or simply because you both clicked.
One thing I have learned recently is to be careful of people who gossip and like to talk badly about others, because if they can speak badly about someone else, they can do the same about you behind your back.
Even when you give the person the benefit of the doubt, you are surprised to find that the same person has committed the same offence against you.
One thing I have learned from my mother and also from Nalva, which I think is terrible, is that when someone quotes or repeats what a third person has said about you, it is very hurtful.
Uncle Garth said this about you! The next-door neighbour said this about you! My friend, whom I go out with every week, said this about you! And so on.
I think it is terrible and ugly for a person to repeat what someone has said and then try to use it against you, all the while wanting to hurt you, leveraging and weaponising what somebody else said. This, for me, is one of the worst things a person can do.
This is one of the traumas from my childhood. My mother would weaponise what people had said negatively about me, principally to hurt me but also to make herself feel right, strong and powerful. Nalva, when she’s angry, does precisely the same.
When someone does this to me, they lose whatever credibility they had with me. It’s all gone.
What others say about me is not my business or concern. And anyone who uses it as a weapon against me is as bad as the person who committed the crime.
Whenever somebody does this to you, I suggest that you watch out!
In bed by 11 p.m.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
