Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 30 °C, hot, sunny and slightly cloudy.
It is April, and today is April 1st, also known as April Fools’ Day. In Brazil, we refer to it as Dia da Mentira, which translates to “the day of the lie.” I can differentiate between a prank, a joke, and a lie to some extent. Regardless, it’s a beautiful day here in Rio.
The early morning temperature is a little cool at 20°C, and there is a light breeze. Even though the sun is out, it is still cool, and I absolutely adore the wind. The middle seasons in Rio, Spring and Autumn, are my favourite and incredibly special. They are usually cool, sunny, and with a breeze.
This is the weekend Yasmin should be with me; last weekend, she stayed with her mother because she had school exams all week. She did not come to my place for her functional training because it was a heavy week.
Yesterday, I called her specifically to know if she would come to my place later that day or today, as I wanted a position. She had told me she was waiting for her mother to arrive from work, and that when her mother arrived, she would talk to herand then tell me.
Did she do this? NO!!!
I offered to either collect her from her mother’s or meet her at the Metro station, but she didn’t call or message me later that night. So, Saturday morning, I got up early, did my exercise at the end of Leme, had a coffee at the local baker’s on the way back and went to the supermarket; all the things I like to do in the morning at the weekend.
When I returned, I had a shower, saw some things on the internet, and then began writing my journal entry for the day. As soon as I began to put pen to paper, who sent me a good morning message? Yes, you guessed it: Yasmin.
When I read the message, it was just a simple ‘good morning’-bom dia, ‘good morning’-bom dia-but something changed inside me. It was an anger that was not premeditated; it just came from inside of me.
My daughter could not have been bothered to tell me what she had arranged or decided with her mother. I felt that I was no one of special importance or significance to inform me of her plans so that I could consequently arrange my life accordingly.
I am always on standby as her father, ready to help or assist her whenever she needs me, no matter the time or place. All of these feelings were suddenly bottled up inside of me. When I called her, she promptly answered the phone; even though it was 11 am, she was still half asleep. This was like throwing gasoline onto an already raging fire.
As I was a little uncontrollable with anger, I began to call attention to her lack of consideration for not advising me about what had been decided between her mother and herself. She was obviously surprised and went first into defence mode and then changing to attack mode, claiming that until that moment, nothing had been decided yet.
Nothing had been decided!!!
That was the excuse my daughter gave me. Her mother had arrived home tired after work; neither had said anything to the other about it, and it was left as it was. Ok, for her mother, whom I had already questioned the day before, and for Yasmin, my father is not important. This also made me even angrier as it showed that, besides the lack of consideration, there was a manoeuvre to give an excuse.
Find an excuse and use it because it is the perfect way to get out of something.
I hate excuses; living in Brazil for so long, you see and hear them for every problem here. In my old age, I have concluded that people do what they want. If they give you an excuse, it is probably because it wasn’t essential to them. So, when someone gives me an excuse, it is like a lie, an indirect insult to me, or a little of both.
It was a heated conversation as I wanted to show Yasmin that I am not just anybody, and, besides, if she gives her word on something, she must keep it. I think I threw her under the bus at least once, but she is ok.
More importantly, I hope she has learned a lesson from it. I also learned a lesson from it; maybe we, the parents, are not as important to our children as we think we are, or is it just me?
Later that day, Yasmin’s mother sent me a recorded message to apologise for not informing me. It was evident that Yasmin had already spoken to her mother about it, so both of them felt a bit embarrassed.
Although the incident has passed, it highlights certain aspects of life and how we tend to expect a lot from others. Moreover, it also reminds us that we may not hold as much significance in other people’s lives as we think.
The rest of the day was relaxing, a little studying and making the most of one of the few days where I could do what I liked.
In bed by 10.00 pm.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading my blog. Check out my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments.
Richard
